


A Break from Reality

by neosaiyanangel



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Crack, Gen, Spending A Few Hundred Years Eating Ice Cream, Wildly OOC in service of the author's preferred characterization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neosaiyanangel/pseuds/neosaiyanangel
Summary: Homura eats ice cream. No, really, that’s pretty much it.
Kudos: 6
Collections: RELEASE THE CRACKEN





	A Break from Reality

**Author's Note:**

  * For [neosaiyanangel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neosaiyanangel/gifts).



Homura licked her spoon clean of the rocky road ice cream that had been slathered on it. The delightful chunks were plain old satisfying. A simple delight.

"Hey!" Homura looked up from her carton of ice cream to see Kyouko fending off a troupe of shadow magical girls. She was bloodied, dirty, and shooting Homura an angry, desperate look. Kyouko screamed, "Help me out here, will ya?"

Homura thought on it for a moment. "...No. No, I don't think I will."

Kyouko gaped. " _You're a magical girl_! And I'm gonna die!"

"Yes, that's all true." Homura shook her mostly-empty container before scooping another spoonful out. "But I still have some ice cream left."

"You monster! You don't care if I die?!" Kyouko was so busy boggling that she didn't notice the sword as it stabbed clean through her torso.

Homura watched as Kyouko fell. The shadows converged, taking care to not only turn Kyouko into a pin cushion but to also shatter her Soul Gem. Kyouko was very definitely dead.

The shadows danced away, leaving Homura to eat her ice cream.

"You know, I don't get why no one likes me," Homura griped to Kyouko's corpse. "I'm a perfectly functional person. Why am I so disliked?" She shoveled the last of the ice cream into her mouth and swallowed. "I mean, I know I'm a bit stand-offish. But even Harima has friends! All I have is my obsession with Madoka that just doesn't go anywhere." Homura pondered our loud, "Do you think Madoka cares about me the way I do her, in a really creepy fashion that freaks her out every loop I do?"

Kyouko's corpse laid there, doing nothing.

"You're right. Madoka totes loves me." Homura tucked her faithful hospital spoon into her pocket. "Welp, it's been fun. Madoka's already been dead a few days, so it's pointless for me to stay. Cheers!"

Homura whisked herself back to the past, to her hospital room. She opened her eyes, ready for this next cycle.

This time, she would get pistachio almond.


End file.
